This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little: Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~ in a land far away, ~~~~~~~~ a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess ~~~~~~~~ happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. ~~~~~~~~ The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. ~~~~~~~~ One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am ~~~~~~~~ and then, my sweet, we can marry ~~~~~~~~ and set up housekeeping in your castle ~~~~~~~~ with my mother, ~~~~~~~~ where you can prepare my meals, ~~~~~~~~ clean my clothes, bear my children, ~~~~~~~~ and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. " ~~~~~~~~ That night, ~~~~~~~~ as the princess dined sumptuously ~~~~~~~~ on lightly sauteed frog legs ~~~~~~~~ seasoned in a white wine ~~~~~~~ and onion cream sauce, ~~~~~~~~ she chuckled and thought to herself: ~~~~~~~~ I don't freakin' think so